if i could fly
by thezqueen
Summary: one-shot song-fic based on one direction’s ‘if i could fly’ newt tells thomas about how he broke his leg before thomas goes into the maze first time. tears and fluffiness newt x thomas


**i own none of the lyrics. so fucking understand that i'm not trying to steal them. it's just a songfic. all of the lyrics belong to one direction. but i will not bloody delete this story. i DONT own them**

minho and alby were in the maze, and thomas was stressed to say the least.

he couldn't remember if he was religious, but he prayed for their return.

he was working when frypan told him that newt wanted to speak to him.

_If I could fly _

"newt?"

the blonde glader didn't look up from his work when he replied,

"did i ever tell you how i broke my leg, tommy?"

_I think I might give up everything, just ask me to_

"no," thomas was cautious now, the others said newt never spoke of his past, "what happened, newt?"

thomas felt his worry increase for the second-in-command when he saw the sadness leak into the boy's eyes.

newt patted the tree log next to him, "sit down, thomas. listen to my story."

_Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down_

_Right now I'm completely defenseless_

"i was miserable when i got here, i was confused and hurt. why would they put us here? what did we ever do? at first i was a runner, a bloody good one too. i would run the maze with minho everyday. day after day after day. i hated it. i hated the maze, i hated myself," thomas saw the tears running down newt's face, he fought against the urge to pull the older boy towards him and wipe away the saltwater running down newt's cheeks.

"i jumped, tommy. i bloody jumped."

_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_

"what?"

thomas' voice was low and hoarse.

"i tried to kill myself. i jumped off the wall, broke my leg in the process. i wanted to die so bad. it was eating away at me," newt seemed to freeze for a second, "bloody hell, why am i telling you this? i've probably terrified the wits out of you. i'm sorr--"

"don't you shucking dare be sorry. i want to know. i'll always be here for you."

_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_

"always, newt."

_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_

their eyes met, brown looking into hazel. thomas half-smiled through his tears as he looked upon the blonde boy. he'd only been in the glade for two days and he couldn't bear to think that if newt had succeeded, they never would've met.

_Now you know me, for your eyes only_

_For your eyes only._

"there it is, tommy," newt whispered, "there's my truth."

_I've got scars even though they can't always be seen_

"this bloody limp is always there to remind me of that day," newt said, his voice rough.

thomas glanced up at the edge in newt's accent. he almost gasped at the raw emotion in newt's eyes, he wanted nothing more to make the pain go away.

_And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing_

"i wish i could take away your pain. you have no idea how much i want to--" hug you. comfort you. _kiss _you "--help you."

"you do help me, tommy," newt sighed, "i don't know how, but you ease my pain."

_Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down_

_Right now I'm completely defenseless_

"you make me vulnerable, tommy."

_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_

_For when you're lonely and forget who you_ are

"how?"

"you make me feel so safe and happy, and that makes me vulnerable to hope. hope is so dangerous, tommy."

_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_

thomas felt his hand brush against newt's and he smiled.

"i love you, newt."

the words slipped out before he could stop them. thomas cursed at his stupidity, he had let down his guard and the words came flooding out. he looked over at the shocked boy beside him, and instantly stood up, turning his back as fresh tears slid down his cheeks.

_Now you know me, for your eyes only_

_For your eyes only_

thomas walked away, his path not set. he just needed to get away. away from the coming rejection, the awkwardness. he hated himself for screwing everything up.

a warm hand wrapped around his wrist, turning him around. thomas saw newt, and he opened his mouth to apologize to his fellow glader for his words. his eyes met newt's and before he could choke out a sorry, a pair of surprisingly warm lips crashed against thomas'

_I can feel your heart inside of mine, I feel it, I feel it_

_I've been going out of my mind, I feel it, I feel it_

thomas' shock soon wore off and he kissed newt back. he wrapped his arms around newt's waist, pulling him impossibly closer. the blonde glader's hands threaded through thomas' hair, tugging slightly, causing thomas to groan slightly. the sound made newt grin into the kiss.

_Know that I'm just wasting time_

_And I hope that you don't run from me_

thomas pulled slightly on newt's bottom lip with his teeth, causing the blonde's eyes to widen slightly as he gasped. thomas slipped his tongue in between newt's parted lips, but stopped when the second-in-command gasped again.

thomas pulled away, "sorry, i've never really done this before."

newt snorted, "you didn't do anything wrong, tommy," he assured, "that was…..amazing."

_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_

"i love you too, tommy."

_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_

_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_

"you said hope was dangerous, i hope you're ready to live dangerously."

"if it's with you, the bloody hell i'm ready."

_Now you know me, for your eyes only_

"newt! the doors about to close, you and greenie need to get over here."

thomas' eyes widened with worry, "they aren't back yet."

_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_

they exchanged glances before they made their ways to the doors, pushing their way to the front of the small group. the rush of air and loud bang signalled the closing of the doors. just as they started to close two familiar figures appeared around the corner. minho was struggling to drag an injured alby through the closing doors. thomas looked over at newt, a sense of guilt rushing through him.

newt looked over at a guilty and worried thomas. he saw the brunette greenie take a deep breath as the doors were almost closed, before sprinting forward. newt reached out, a cry of distress escaping his lips, he felt a surge of triumph when his fingers gripped thomas' shirt, but it slipped out of his hands and thomas squeezed between the doors.

_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_

newt stood there dumbstruck. reality hit him and he dropped to his knees. he had lost everyone. alby, his friend, his superior. minho, his cocky best friend. thomas, _oh god, thomas_, was gone too.

_I'm missing half for me when we're apart_

_thomas, you bloody idiot,_ newt felt the tears build up in his eyes, _no one survives a night in the maze. _

_Now you know me, for your eyes only_

_For your eyes only_

"everyone to bed," newt ordered, blinking back his tears.

"but--"

"no buts,' newt growled, "if they come back in the morning, they'll be injured, so we'll need all the energy we can get. go. to. bed."

he turned to look at the sealed doors, closing his eyes to keep in the tears.

_For your eyes only_

he wouldn't cry, not in front of the other gladers.

the sight of him crying would only be for thomas' eyes

_For your eyes only_


End file.
